Kazatasupa (kazatasupa) wrote,

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I was driving down the long, dirt road to Justin's house. There was an inch, or so of wet snow on the road and driving was difficult. I was frustrated because my jeep was not handling well, and I could see little worn-out, redneck cars handling perfectly as they drove in figure eight circles down by the house. As I pulled into the yard, my jeep slid backwards, barely missing a white truck (which might have been the Izuzu Pup I had in high-school - i'm not sure). Two cars stopped driving in circles and the occupants exited their cars to greet me. As I stepped out of my jeep I was met by one stranger and three people who were Justin Cecil. One was indifferent to my being there. Another was the Justin I have always known, greeting me with a "ma ha ha ha tt," followed by a warm hug. The other was rude - annoyed by my presence while insisting that I was not welcome. I tried to talk to the warm Justin, but the others were effecting my ability to converse... I became very uncomfortable... As I struggled to cope with what was happening, and try to talk at the same time, I felt an eerie silence. I looked up from the ground to see all three of them, looking coldly at me... silence overcame me, followed by a very dark feeling, and time stood still.

I don't know how long the image stayed with me, frozen in time as I slept. But, it was haunting enough to wake me. And, this morning, I am still haunted by the image of the three who are one (one whom I love)... standing in alliance, staring down with brazenly cold eyes, hateful eyes.

And, all I could think was, "what have I done?"
Tags: coping with a doomed relationship, dreams, justin, laryn
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