It was the realization that God could never make me feel love that planted the first seeds of doubt...
If anything, my God should be love.
I use to cry myself to sleep because I could not feel loved.
I've been walking the streets of Provo this evening, with my headphones on, thinking about my life... and each lit window, down every street, I see a person kneeling to God, praying... feeling loved.
I love... and remembering how I used to be brings a bit of sadness... but I love, and I love me, and tonight I'll sleep well... yet, still haunted by a God who should be love.