Kazatasupa (kazatasupa) wrote,

A Lesson in Unconditional Love

Sivvy has a good point: "Fears lie."

In the tangled mess that is my mind, I fear being alone. I fear the rejection of me. I fear that I am not worthy of love. I fear that it will always be returned to me in a, "thanks, but no thanks," fashion.

I fear that I will always be that one person who is not good enough for the rest of the world.

Recent events have only reinforced that fear.

I want so badly for people to feel how much love I have. And, I don't want it given back to me... I want it to be good enough. Love has always been my God. Love is the only thing I have...

Fear takes the bottom out of my world. It makes everything unstable, and creates an environment in which I am helpless. I have felt helpless, lost, lonely, worthless, insignificant, ugly, evil, and outside.

I have laid awake, many nights, questioning the validity of my existence. I have struggled with the inclination to believe that I am nothing. That what I feel is only important to me, and that if I feel this bad, then perhaps my life is worthless. This line of thinking has only validated my fear.

Fears lie. Thank you, Sivvy...

I feel liberated.

Now, to stop being afraid....
Tags: fear, liberation, loneliness, love, self worth, sivvy
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