Kazatasupa (kazatasupa) wrote,
Kazatasupa
kazatasupa

The Sins of our Fathers

I have recently given much thought to the quantity and quality of "bad" habits I have. More specifically, the things I do that I hope not to pass onto my son. In preparation for my son's birth, I have reflected a great deal on the relationship I have with my father. And, in doing so, have realized how much of his behavioural constitution I have adopted as my own. To say I am terrified at what I have become might be a bit of an overstatement. I am generally happy with who I am, but am concerned with the qualities that I have learned from my dad and adapted to fit nicely into my lifestyle. I am not interested in besmirching the man's character, so I will not do that (I will note that, by all accounts, my dad is an honest man who loves his wife and family). What I will say is that some of his biggest influences on me have shown in my humor (sarcasm) and home life (I spend too much time in front of the television). His humor and lethargy (both physical and intellectual) were a constant source of frustration for me as a child.

It is my hope that as a soon-to-be father, I will become less sarcastic and more loving in my humor. I hope that, as I near 44 years of age, I maintain my physical body well enough to be active in my child's life and that I keep my wits about me at the same time. I have never felt this way about another human being: I want to give this little boy my everything. And I hope that some day, in some measure, he finds my efforts to be satisfactory. I hope that he is able to forgive the sins of his father.
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