Kazatasupa (kazatasupa) wrote,
Kazatasupa
kazatasupa

i keep dreaming that i fall in love and it's real. not like a verb, but a noun... it's tapped into and tangible and i can trust it. and, it carries me away, never setting me down. it takes me in and makes me comfortable again... i start breathing and sleeping. my hands stop trembling, and i can look people in the eyes again without getting nervous. it gives me respectable posture, lends me the freedom to act humble, and the confidence to quit feeling the need to sell myself. i stop caring if anyone is listening and my only concern is for other people. yea... i feel pretty selfish now. walking sore with transparent wounds, i've closed the world and am not accessible although i really wish i could be. i just don’t know how anymore.

i feel like i'm standing, naked in public, as some point and laugh while others try not to notice. it stings, and i am too sensitive... either way it's a spectacle and i am singled out, alone. waiting out the self hatred with a prayer that when the dark moon sets a glorious sun will lift me up. waiting on that thing... waiting on love.
Tags: on love
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