looking out

(no subject)

Heavy rain today and I am thankful to be inside.

I drove to Palo Cedro this morning for work errands.  There was a mudslide behind me on my way back to Burney and now the highway is closed in both directions.  It's supposed to keep raining for the next 8 hours, or so.  The creek that runs through my yard is pushing against my simple bridge and is an inch or two from taking to sea.  I tried to pull the bridge across the creek, but it is waterlogged and too heavy.  It won't be a big loss unless it destroys the fence (which is also in the water) when it goes.



I'm enjoying this holiday season more so than in the past five years.  This little guy helps ease the pain of Thorn not being here.  I've made public posts through March of 2002.  I keep finding long lost gems from Thorn in the comments.  While grieving his death I found myself angry at him for deleting so many posts in his journal, so reading through his comments has given me some comfort and joy.  I've been tagging "Thorn" while moving through posts that he replied to.    
  • Current Music: tom petty - crawling back to you
burney mountain

(no subject)

I have a Sierra Nevada Narwal Ale aged in a bourbon barrel that is calling my name.  It's been tempting me for the last couple of days, but Marie has not wanted to open it.  It's a 22-ounce bottle and at 10.2 %, a half bottle should lighten the load on my feet.  We are decorating the Christmas tree tonight and Marie has decided that that would be a significant enough reason to delight in the magnificent stout.  A storm is rolling in and there should be snow falling tonight.  A perfect scene for a beautiful beverage.
burney mountain

(no subject)

Coffee and Joseph Fire Crow.

I've made public my entries through January 2002.  It's interesting reading my thoughts in the blissful calm before the storm.  LaRyn was the first woman I allowed myself to feel loved by and, though our "relationship" was short in terms of time, I struggled for years to reclaim myself from losing the trust I had in that love.  I have a completely different perspective on that relationship than I did at that time.  I have only fond memories of our time together and I hope she is blissfully happy in her life now (I'm sure she is).

The women I wrote about back then; Nicole, Natalia, and Marie are all still dear friends of mine and one (Marie) is now my wife.  I feel fortunate to have been able to foster relationships with these amazing people and that they still care enough to call me a friend (or husband) is such a great blessing for my old soul.  I am in shock that Marie and I have been together now for 7 years and in April will have been married for 6 years.  Time goes by too quickly.

I miss my brother.  This will be the 5th Christmas since lokasennapassed away.  I used to feel such a romance for the holiday, but that feeling died with Thorn.  I miss exchanging philosophy books with him.  I miss trying to get him drunk on Christmas Eve, or during Christmas dinner.  I miss our evening discussions and disagreements.  I miss everything about him.  Having had a child has returned some "spirit" of the holiday to me.  I only wish Thorn could be here to love on his nephew.

It's snowing outside.  I wish I had the time to go for a walk and take in the wonder of the universe.  I have a Lion's Club board meeting tonight to go along with my regular domestic and fatherly duties.  The walk will have to wait for another day.
burney mountain

(no subject)

I keep having dreams that I am working in the library at UVU again.  I'm guessing this is due to me revisiting this journal, making private posts public and tagging them.  I've also taken Allen's sentimentality to heart.  He's been posting images on Instagram all the while longing for our days of old.  I am extremely happy in those dreams.  My job there has always been my favorite occupation and I miss the academic environment.  I am content in my work now, but that library made me happy.

I've made public all posts through December of 2001.
burney mountain

(no subject)

I've now made public my entries through November of 2001.  It's going to take me a while to open these up, as I am tagging them while I move along.  I have always had difficulty navigating time and am stunned that some of these entries about events, still so fresh in my mind, were from 15 years ago.  Time is not my friend.  I often wonder how the Rolling Stones feel when they've played, "Time Is on My Side," while in their golden years.  Perhaps they quit playing that song years ago...

In other news:

I'm a bit sluggish today.  We (Scott, Daryl and myself) celebrated the holidays by indulging in 3 years (2014, 2015 and 2016) of Goose Island Brewing's Bourbon County Stout last night.   2014 has aged quite wonderfully since last year.  It has lost a considerable amount of sweetness and mellowed nicely.  2015 has not changed much since last year.  I guess Goose Island had to recall a number of batches from last year's release due to a bacterial problem which resulted in off flavors (thankfully, I did not procure any of the "bad" bottles").  They decided to flash pasteurize this year's release and I have yet to find out if that will limit the beer's ability to age, or not.  It would be a shame if it did as collecting these bottles to age is 90% of the fun.  At any rate, it doesn't take much of a 14% brew to get your attention and I've been dragging my feet a bit today.
burney mountain

From the past comes the future...

Went back to the beginning of this journal and started the task of making posts public.  I got through the first two months (September and October of 2001) and resumed the project tagging posts.

I have been feeling sentimental since Allen posted a picture on Instagram the other day.  Just him and a Uinta Anniversary Ale.  Matt Wright commented about our time at the National Ethics Bowl in Cincinnati:


  • quinlamaCheers!

  • mister.hillI'm talkin' about you, @quinlama !

  • quinlama@mister.hill I love you dude. I miss those days. I miss you.

  • matthewcwrightGood days, indeed.

  • matthewcwrightAlso, just for another touch of nostalgia, I judged the regional ethics bowl last weekend. Reminded me of our year in Cincinnati, getting lost and wandering the streets as @quinlama bellowed "Cincinnati, come to me!!!" Hilarious. Miss you dudes.

  • maddmountainLooking forward to seeing you this weekend Amigo

  • quinlama@matthewcwright I miss you too. We had some good times and I have the photographs to prove it!


I can't believe so much time has passed since I roamed the Provo streets with those fellas.  Good times with great dudes.  I need to get Marie on board with a road trip...
  • Current Music: Blind Melon - Deserted
burney mountain

(no subject)

so much of this journal was written for other people but, in the end, it is a history of who I have been and where I was going.  It was really written for me.
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burney mountain

(no subject)



Above is a view from Thorn's Lair, looking at my backyard.

It snowed last night, which put a damper on the plans to ride my bike.  So, it's almost two in the afternoon, and I'm still in my pajamas. Though I may be sipping coffee, listening to Thelonious monk and Live-Journaling at this moment, I haven't been completely lazy today.  The wife and I did spend a the better part of this morning cleaning house for the last time until our baby is delivered.

Since the house is now ready, I've escaped to Thorn's to jot a few things down while the wife is resting.  Tomorrow we will travel to town for a doctor's appointment followed by a pre-op at the hospital and delivery is scheduled for Wednesday morning.

I have a number of goals to accomplish while off work for the next month to month and a half:
-Bond with the baby.
-Help Marie in her recovery from Cesarean Section
-Put in gravel driveway
-Fix sprinklers
-Prepare for and plant Marie's garden
-Post to Livejournal every day
-Ride Mountain bike every day (weather permitting)
-Plant fruit tree in front yard
-Finish reading Kerouac's Big Sur and revisit Dharma Bums.
-Drink copious amounts of coffee

I guess I ought to get moving.  I still need to pack my bedroll for the couple of nights we'll be in the hospital.  I also want to check my camera's batteries and pack the laptop.  It might be time to change my attire for the day...
burney mountain

(no subject)

Still reading through old entries. I think I'm going to go back through them, when I'm done with this run, and tag my old posts. I'd like this journal to be more easily navigated.

Anyway, I read a comment from someone when i first moved back to Burney in 2003 - something about "you can never return home," resonated with me in regards to livejournal. Livejournal isn't what it used to be, and that makes me sad. I miss my friends who used to post here...

They're all on active on other platforms, but I miss them on LJ. I should implore them to write here more often, but doubt they will...

If you look closely at my friend's feed, you might catch sight of a tumbleweed...